Wonderful Moment again..

Hahaha.. I met them again. Only this time, only three of us. Me, Ain, and Fea. Ya Allah, how much I love them. They came to my place at Gombak on November 1st, 2008.

I took them at K.L Central in very late in the evening of that day, around 7pm. I was really tired and exhausted. Not to mention how starving I am, because I have to wait for hours for a bus, and then take monorel from Titiwangsa to K.L Central. What a day...but all this feelings vanished when I saw my dearest Ain and Fea there. Then I took them to my house at Gombak. We took the same transportation. Monorel and bus..again...aiyyaa...

Ya Allah..I am so glad Allah gives me these wonderful friends. Alhamdulillah..

I really don't belive this. Ain and Fea, in my house, at Gombak...??!! Hahaha.. Yeah..!

I really took advantage on their visit here. When I was still studying in P.D, I was so a little girl whenever I'm with Ain. And now she's with me here.. so...Hehehe..

The next day, November 2nd, 2008, we went to Klang, Midvalley. We took KTM from Sentul Timur, and went to Midvalley. . but before that, we have to change the tren at Putra first, then we went straight to Midvalley. It's just on our way to Seremban.

See how happy we were together.

Wanna see more..? Visit my page.. www.friendster.com/jaggedhazel

What a Wonderful Moment..

Assalamualaikum..

Alhamdulillah, my life is getting better now. Like I'm the one and only lucky girl in this world. Me and my love went for a date for thye first time on October 12, 2008. We went to Port Dickson, Negeri Sembilan. We were studying here in Port Dickson a year ago, but we were never know each other. After I quit studying there, and he also, we get to know each other months later. The story behind our love story on how we knew each other is so sweet for me. I will never ever forget about this. After a few months we declared, we met for the first time, here in Port Dickson. I brought him met my very dear friends, Ain and Fea. See our precious moments here..!

First, we went to lunch in a Mamak Restaurant. Then we went to Teluk Kemang, but only for a few minutes. Here, Ain and Fea showed me my ex-boy, alone with a girl. I know that damn f*****g girl. She's the reason of all the things happen. But it's alright. It doesnt matter anymore. If that damn f******g girl didn't did all this, maybe I will not ever found this great and wonderful man who is really awsome. Nobody can take his place (I love u Zarul.. Muaahhxx..!!). Ok, next..!!

After that, we find another place, where this place is more relaxing, and happy, the BLUE LAGOON..!! Hahaha.. What a wonderful place. But I have no pictures for blue lagoon, except our pictures together. what to do...

Hmm..Let's see how happy we are here.. Hehehe..

Then, we went to Pantai Purnama. Wow...what a B-E-A-Utiful place..! This was zarul's idea. Not bad.. hmm.. hehehe..

Happy eit..?? hehehe..That's us..!!!! Ambam, Ambing, Abang, Ayang.. Hehehe...

We spent our time from lunch until late evening. After send Ain and Fea at their hostel, Zarul send me to KTM Seremban. I went home at Gombak, the place where I studying now. And I start another usual day, till now. We don't know when we will being like this again. Insyaallah, we will....

Happiness finally arrived...

Hi.. It's been a long time since I wrote in this column.

Remember, how crazy I am when i'd falling in love with that G_ _ _ _A_ _ _ _ ?

and how sick, hurt and mad I am for a long time just because crazy for a silly love?

and how did I made a swear, that that boy, would not get me and my love again, forever, because I wants to give my love to someone else who is really want me, and need me.

Well, I have it now..!! ^_^

Hahaha.. Finally, the happiness arrived. I have someone, the one that own me, the one I needed the most. I am his, and he is mine. Alhamdulillah, lots of thankful to Allah, the Most Merciful, the Most Graceful. Only Allah is the Almighty.

Change the world

Best oldies song i love..!! ^_^

Change the world, Eric Clapton

If I can reach the stars,
Pull one down for you,
Shine it on my heart
So you could see the truth:
That this love I have inside
Is everything it seems.
But for now I find
Its only in my dreams.
And I can change the world,
I will be the sunlight in your universe.
You would think my love was really something good,
Baby if I could change the world.
And if I could be king,
Even for a day,
Id take you as my queen;
Id have it no other way.
And our love would rule
This kingdom we had made.
Till then I'd be a fool,
Wishing for the day...
That I can change the world,
I would be the sunlight in your universe.
You would think my love was really something good,
Baby if I could change the world.
Baby if I could change the world.
I could change the world,
I would be the sunlight in your universe.
You would think my love was really something good,
Baby if I could change the world.
Baby if I could change the world.
Baby if I could change the world.

Alhamdulillah..

Hmm.. Lately, my mood is so relaxing. Happy.. and easy..
^_^.. alhamdulillah.. Hmm.. This morning, my lovely sister, Ain, sent me a msg. I don't know how, but it seems like she knows what had happen to me, and she knows what to do. She only sent me this msg.

"Bila engkau memandang segalanya dari tuhanmu, yg menjadikan segalanya, yg menimpakan ujian, yg menjadikan hatimu sakit, yg mbuatkan keinginanmu terhalang dan menyusahkan hidupmu..
Pasti akan damailah hatimu krn bukan Allah sengaja mentakdirkan sesuatu itu dgn sia-sia..
Bukan Allah tidak tahu betapa deritanya hidupmu dan retaknya hatimu..
Tapi mungkin itulah yg Dia mahukan kerana dia tahu, hati sebegitulah lebih lunak dan mudah untuk dekat dan akrab denganNya.."


Hmm.. I just smile after i got the msg. U know what? My heart feels so easy, happy, and something that i cant really say about it. but i know i love that feeling. I reply her back, saying thank u for the msg. I know how she understands me so much. and she reply me back, saying how shouldn't i just follow my heart. i must think of Allah first. I thought i always do. Maybe it didn't enough to calm me down. Maybe my thought that time was still in doubt. Alhamdulillah, now i'm a lil' bit ok. Maybe my mind now is still in the state of "jiwa kacau", but i'll be find.. Alhamdulillah, for giving me such a great and understanding sister..
^_^...

I miss us..

Look at us..
And the life that we made..
Oh, darlin I wouldn't trade a single thing..
Still in love, But I can't help dream about yesterday..
Oh yesterday..
I miss Sunday mornings free and easy..
Lazy days and endless evenings..
I really thought somehow..
That I'd be over it by now..
And I miss lying in your arms till morning..
With nothing on our minds but making love..
Baby most of all I miss us..
Like a child, I know it is selfish to say but sometimes I want you all to myself..
For a while, Couldn't we go back and play in yesterday..
Oh yesterday..
Walking on the beach alone together..
Sunsets that would last forever..
No where else to be..
Side by side just you and me..
And I miss lying in your arms til morning..
With nothing on our minds but making love..
Baby most of all I miss us..
All that we have lost..
Has all come back as love..
I know thats what family is about..
Still I miss Sunday mornings free and easy..
Lazy days and endless evenings..
I know we'll survive, But it is eating me alive..
And I miss lying in your arms till morning..
With nothing on our minds but making love..
I can't hold it back another minute..
I'm embrassed to admit it..
But I still want to be your everything..
I know all that life has given us is way more than enough,
But darlin' I can't help myself
I just love you too much
Baby most of all
I miss us...

Well, I really wanted to give this song to someone, and hopefully that person would meant it to me too.. But, what can I do..I have no body..^_^.. It's alright.. I just love the lyrics..and the song is so wonderful..so touching..U should hear it.! Kenny Loggins, I miss us.. =D

I shouldn't be like this...

I shouldn't be like this.. This are fated. Allah is trying me, whether i am a good slave of Him or not. These are my destiny, and i must do my best to get blessing from Him....

I think i've lost my mind...

Hmm.. It's been 4 weeks since me and him being 'cold' and silent.. We've talked sometimes, but the way talked was just like we we've been known only a month.. Ya Allah.. Please, give me your strength to fight this feelings..I am really not strong like i used to. Ya Allah, the Greatest of All..

Day by day, i've been alone, i'm trying to run away from this painful situation.. but it's so hard to do.. All the time, everything i do, i just kept thingking of him.. Only his name, his face, his voice playing around in my mind.. This is so..... i don't know what else i can say about my feeling.. it's just so hard to breath..so painful..I don't know until when i can hold on like this.. but i wish i can be strong someday, until forever.. Until i find someone, who needed my love.. who is i know, needed my love, and i need his to..

This is not truly me, but i just really don't know how long i can hold on.. I hope, with this, in writing my feelings here, I will chill a little, and try to hold on..

Love Sucks..!!

I don't what's going on with me now. I thought, I can rely on him !. I want him to help me to control myself. I want to be happy and cheerful like I used to. But he didn't give a damn care or help to me! It's not like, I want him to pay back all my kindness to him. I just want someone, who I've trusted for a long time, help, guide me to my past. I know we all suppose to move forward. But why should I move forward if that move will make me more suffer and sad? I've been crying everyday, sometimes in day, and always wheh at night. I don't think I can hold on any longer. Maybe, he want to see me dying in suffer, so that he can be satisfied. He always told me, he do all these things because he wants to revenge. I have to feel all the sadness. I must feel what he had always felt. Maybe, my way are to harsh for u. But I had say these to u long time ago right? Shouldn't u always alert and be ready. Besides, I let u know about these things slowly. One by one. Didn't u understand? Why? Why is it so hard for u to understand me? I always give my very best to understands u. I did gave u all my heart, my soul, my life, my feeling for u, and gave all these thing to understands u, so that u won't feel bad. But when it comes to me, I AM RELYING ON U..! I WANT U..!! I NEEDED U..! but u just seems can't to know and understands me.

My dear GreenA_ _ _E,

I have told u thousands of times about me, about u, and about us. The more I want to get away from u, the more love for u comes in me. but, u will not get my love for u. I'm gonna save it, forever, because I am not strong anymore to be hurt. I can't stand anymore my love. This is the end. Of course, I will pray for your happiness out there, I love u. That's why. But u will never understands me. I will never be yours again. So long my dear.....

Assalamualaikum......

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My Love Problem, is nearly to its end..!

I saw someone's myspace just now..i agree for her words, "LOVE isn't finding someone you can live with.. it's FINDING SOMEONE you CAN"T live without! .." ...that's a very true and beautiful phrase..

Before this, i had dumped more than 5 guys, after 3 years i broke up with my first boyfriend. From that, only two of them i realize, were truly serious to be with me. One of those two, I really felt terrible of him, because I know he was really upset with me. After I said 'NO' to him, he told me that, "let us just pretend like we haven't know each other. I was really shocked of what he had said, but I did nothing to stopped him. The truth is, only after a day he didn't contact me at all, i am trully missed him. I tried to contact him back, but he changed his phone number. How can I not missed him? He shares the same interests with me. He called me sometimes, to chattering around. He was so kind to be care with me. When I think back of what i he had done, he's right. That was the best way to make him forget the worst thing I have ever made towards him. I told about that to my godsister, and she blame me for that. I know, I am so wrong to said no to him. But what can I do? I don't even know how he face was look like. I just know that he was school at somewhere in Ipoh, and his name. How can I trust someone that I don't really know? I was so afraid to fall in love with a stranger because I can't think my life if my soul fall to someone who is wrong! but my godsister said, "you must love the one who loves you, don't find someone you love. or else you will suffer.." . And what she said was true. It happened to me. Someone asked me to be his special girlfriend, and he said he loved me..i agreed, because he is really good in taking my heart, and that time, I am madly in love with him. But after just a few months, we broke up. I can't stand anymore, because he kept saying that he love only someone, and he always talked to me about that girl. I spent lots of times thingking what my godsister had said about love. She was true.

After I broke up with this boy, I kept thingking and thingking, and thingking, what are the best way to heal the wound in my heart? For all these times, i've been so crazy because i failed again in love. This love thing being the most topic i hate. But there's a person, she's a lecturer in my college, advice me on this thing. I think back of what she said, and I can take her opinion. I really thanked Allah for He let me found someone to help me. I also found someone who had a love story just like me (Oh, His Greatness again..). Now, this woman told me about, trying to love someone who love me. She told me everything, and I believe her, because I can see that she really had a wonderful life, with a loving, funny husband and 5 kids. Her daughter is just about my age. I hope my life will end up like this lucky woman.

One more thing, there's a friend, a boy, made my mind lighter from all these thing. He asked me for my story about my ex-boyfriend. Usually, I don't wanna told people about that. But, he is my good friend, and I trust him, i can keep my secret, so I told him. He was totally shocked, with an amazing unbelievable face when he know my story! I just laughed at him (yeah, it's my silly mistake..hmm..). I thought, he's gonna blame me for that, but he wasn't. He told me, he had did the same thing to a girl. That means, he's like the character of my ex-boyfriend in my story. I was suprised. However, i can take his reason for that. He told me why do he did that. The answer for my problem has revealed one by one. This time, I took all the advices from these people, and I'm normal back. Alhamdulillah, I'm fine... Thanks to Allah, for made my way to find these people.

July 2nd, 2008

Today, i went to my ex-highschool. Lots of things have changed since i left the school. The environment, the mural on the wall, and the people (definitely!). I saw my sister, playing with her friends. They played volleyball, a game that is quite tough for me. Suddenly, i remember, how me and my friends playing games some time ago. The different is, we played soccer. Not so seriously. We were just playing, making fun of ourselves. But we do have our own position.

We played in the eve, after school time, around 5 or 6 pm. In a week, I can say, every eve me and my friends will hang out at the school. We were not like other spoil brat student who went hang out with friends watching movies or sip tea and ate cakes at Delifrance, or take Mcdonalds as their lunch instead of heavy meal. We rather ate nuggets and drink milo 50 cent a packet, sat with friends at the side of school field, and watch our friends play sports. Some of them take soccer, volleyball, fast track or silat. We chattering all the time, and sometimes, we did our homework together. That were what I did along 5 years my highschool time. I really missed that gold moment in my life.

Now I am a college student who wake up at 6a.m for Subuh prayer, get ready to go for classes, until late in the eve. I have never had a great time like I used to when I was in highschool. This is one of my reason why do I don't like being an adult. Too much responsibilities, and too much things to think. What a tired life. When will this over? When will I get the chance to be happy with my friends like we used to?

Along, abg yong, Fazrin, Kamini, Fareed, Uda, Chan, Shamir, and my friends who always with me when we were hang out in the eve at school.. I really missed you guys. Nobody can replace all of you. I want to all of you know that, my life isn't happy like we used to. I need you guys back in my life...

Love Confusion

Confusion,

The state of mind I’m often in.

In and out of it so sudden.

Confused by the things I thought I knew.

Confused because I’m in love with you.

I don’t know how I got here,I don’t know how long I’ll stay.

But soon enough I’ll be on my way.

In love with a player.

In love with the game.

In love and to blame.

Confused why I let my self.

Confused this can’t be me.

Confused by the fact that I’m in love with someone who will never love me.

Confused with the tears.

I never let fall.

Confused because I gave you them all.

I never thought I’d be here.

I can’t wait to leave.

I’m in love and hurting and you don’t see.

Love is a confusion its a game.

When you get here there’s nobody to blame.

Except your confusion!

aarrrgghh..!! Why am I playin’ this hurtin’ game..!!

Broken Heart

Truly, my broken heart....

The impossible dream is an untouchable dreamFor those too foolish to try.

The greatest temptations, are wasted sensations

When pushed to the back of the mind
Why did you come to my life?
Why did you call me?
How cruel you are to knocked my heart
And just went in without I noticed it?
I hope I can playback my time
And stop myself from answering your call
I hope I can playback my time
To stop your friend giving you my number
You play with my heart
You have broken my heart
I spent my years to build myself up
To love the one who's loving me
(and that time, you'd said you love me)
Now everything turns upside down
But you just let it be…
I can't think about it anymore
Maybe I should die
Rather than live like this
Live like an idiot
Who's waiting for something
That will never happen..

We'll all end up at the stream of dreams

The river that keeps us from where we wish to roam.